Director's Cut: Naruto, You Idiot!
by sarsaparillia
Summary: Well now. Here I am again, Director and Ruler of All Things Evil. Come and watch as I try with varying degress of success to get Naruto and Hinata together. Second in a series of four. — Naruto/Hinata.


XD Well, I got enough good feed back on this to continue it

XD Well, I got enough good feed back on this to continue it. Here we go, Naruto and Hinata! And here I am, your beloved crazy author. XD

**Disclaimer:** Ha-ha, I really wish. I just own the insane plot lines I write.

**Dedication:** To **Paige O.o**, because she poked me into writing this.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

**((My insane ANs. Whoo-hoo. …Wow, that was enthused.))**

_Emphasis on certain words or song lyrics. You're all smart. You'll figure it out._

--

I smile out at a group of evil looking reporters before I start to speak. I'm not sure my producer is

"Well now! Hi! It's good to be back, isn't it?

So, I guess you're all mad at me, but I'm quite fine with that. Yes sir, I know the movie is late, we're just filming the last little bit now. Oh, I do hope you like it; it would make my life much easier.

Oh, my favorite part? Don't ask that question, please."

But even as the press conference ends, I smirk to myself. My favorite part isn't even going to be in the movie. My favorite part was getting Sakura and Sasuke together.

_That_ was _fun_.

And worth my time.

But you see, here's the thing. I'm starting on another movie, a sequel, of sorts.

The main characters are the same, only this movie focuses on two other of the characters. They're being played (as themselves) by Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata.

I seriously can't wait.

And, considering that I've been cackling evilly since I first met them, I think I'm going to throw open the gates of hell, and run away giggling. Life is fun for me, that way.

Because if you've ever seen Naruto and Hinata together, you _know_ they like each other, but they just can't get it out.

I talked to Sakura, and she said Hinata has had a crush on Naruto for _years_.

And yet, she hasn't done anything.

So now, it's up to me!

…Please don't mind the evil giggling. I really don't mean much by it. It's not like I'm going to…

Oh! That's a _good_ idea!! But I probably shouldn't let anyone know, not yet, anyways…

Sigh. There's the stupid bus thing that always gets on my nerves. Ew, I should call Sakura and get her to drive me to the studio. That way, she could help me with my evil plot! Mwuahahahahaha!

And so begins Operation: Get Naruto and Hinata Together!

I skip down the street, my umbrella closed, even though its raining. I mean, hell, what's the point of rain, if you can't get wet? Oh, there's Sakura, let's go _that_ way!

I get in, a smirk on my lips. She looks dazed, and glares at me like I'm the spawn of Satan. Well, that's rude. I'm not the _spawn_, I _am_ Satan! Jeez, Sakura!

"Hi Sakura!"

"Your perkiness is on my nerves."

"Aw, I just love you, too. Did I interrupt another meeting with his Chicken-ass-ness?"

"Don't call him that."

But that didn't stop her from letting out a snort of laughter at my new nickname for the stuck up Uchiha. He really needed to pull that stick out of his ass.

"So, where to?"

"The studio, darling, the studio."

She looked at me blankly for a second, before pulling away from the curb, as smooth as glass.

"Oh, I was wondering, besides the fact that you needed a ride, why did you call me?"

"Easy. I need help getting Hinata and Naruto together."

She just looked at me, a creepy little sparkle in her eyes.

"You are an evil, evil, evil girl child, you know that, right?"

"It's also why you love me. Besides the fact that I get you work. So, how are we going to work this? I mean, Naruto's not anti-social like Sasuke, and I'm not shy like Hinata. I don't think it'll work in the same way."

"Oh, please. You doubt my ability to scare people into dating each other? What happened there? Did I do something wrong?"

I pouted at her, my lower lip stuck out so far, I must have looked like a chipmunk. Or something.

She just laughed at me.

Ouch.

And so I spoke this out loud.

"Ouch Sakura. That's cold."

She just laughed again, and went back to driving.

Ohhh!! Hey, look! There's an old grandma outside my window! …Ok, gotta do something about that weird little thing of ADD I might just have…

Ten minutes later, I was sitting in front of both Naruto and Hinata, who were looking at me expectantly.

"Alright, next scene. Hm, let's see… I want Naruto to have a moment in the hospital, okay? I want to be all battered and bruised, and then Hinata comes in."

They both still just stared at me.

Bloody hell, that's happening a lot to me today.

"Did I _ask_ you to stare at me? Go! NOW!"

And they jumped into action. Ahh, I love being scary. It makes life worth living, really, it does. I turn my head slightly, and nod to the camera man.

"Lights! Places! Action!"

Naruto didn't move.

"Naruto, you _idiot!_ I said "PLACES!!"

The man jumped right out of his skin, and Hinata snorted at him in the most un-ladylike way.

Well, well, well, well, well. So the little Hyuuga girl _did_ have a backbone. Who knew?

They were both looking at me like I'd just committed homicide, and I realized I'd said that out loud.

"Ummm… oops?"

They were still looking at me like that. Damn.

"Action!"

Still no movement. Double damn.

"I SAID ACTION!! OBEY MEEE!!"

Obviously, that startled them into movement. I laughed at them silently. And my camera man was, too.

This did not sit well with me.

No one but me laughed at the actors.

So I sent him one of my death glares, and he shut up, staring at me with frightened eyes, and a slack mouth.

I took a picture to blackmail him with later. Blackmail is important children. Bad, but important. Oh. Don't quote me on that, okay? I don't want the court coming down on my ass because I told the truth.

"ACTION!! NARUTO, MOVE YOUR FAT ASS!!"

"And if I don't?"

"Do you _want_ to get paid?"

He gulped, and finally (FINA-FUCKING-LLY) got into position. Mwaha. I win.

"Three… two… one and action!"

Naruto was sitting on the bed, glaring at the ceiling, wrapped up in enough bandages to fill a hospital. He was just sitting there, brooding.

A soft rap on the door interrupted his thought.

"Come in."

"N-Naruto-kun, I b-brought some apples f-for y-you…"

"Ah! Thanks Hinata-chan!"

She took a chair next to him, and started to peel the apples, a slight smile on her lips, and a blush on her cheeks.

I smiled at nothing in particular. Hinata was a _very_ good actress. I know how hard not fainting was for her at this moment.

Naruto blinked as she handed him the plate of apples. She smiled at him quietly, and then he realized he was blushing.

Um, since when did she get so cute?!

She looked at him, concerned. He wasn't supposed to be turning red like that… maybe he had a fever?

I nearly felt like tearing my hair out.

"CUT! Naruto, STOP BLUSHING!! And get your mind out of the gutter!"

Obviously, this had not occurred to Hinata, and she looked at him for another minute or so, and then she blacked out from all the blood rushing to her head.

Naruto caught her, alarm written all over his face.

"Hinata! Hinata! Wake up Hinata!"

I went over with a sigh, and slammed my fist into his face.

"Screeching at her is _not_ going to wake her up; it's going to make her deaf!"

He looked up at me, shamefaced, and, once again, I pulled my camera out to snap a picture. Blackmail, people, blackmail! Do you know how much I could sell this for? Sasuke would buy it, just so that he could piss the living fuck out of Naruto.

I smirked. That would be _great_.

I glared at one of the stupider camera men (he was staring at us, open mouthed), and I pointed to the refreshment stands.

"Get. Me. Water. Now."

He nodded with another gulp of air, dashed to the table and back again, and handed me a cup of water. All within a ten second period. And he managed not to spill a drop.

I grabbed it from him, turned around to face Naruto (because he was still holding Hinata), and dumped the cup of water all over her. Oh well, so much for his hard work at not spilling the water.

I heard a slightly scandalized gasp from said camera man behind me, and I turned my face towards him, and leveled and evil glare his way.

He 'eep'ed and ran off.

Coward.

Hinata was slowly coming to, and I managed to pull her out of Naruto's death grip. I knew if I didn't, she'd just see him and faint again.

As she opened her eyes, I tilted my head at Naruto.

"Take her out for dinner. You're both dismissed."

Naruto nodded, still worried that she'd faint again. I let Naruto take her tiny form, and I turned towards my crew, all of whom knew exactly what I wanted them to do.

They sighed at me as Naruto and Hinata left, Naruto still supporting the tiny female.

"Come, my useless camera crew! Let us be off!"

"…Do we have to?"

I didn't even say anything. I just stared at them, disbelief evident in my face that they would actually ask that question. They knew it as well as I did, that once I set my mind to something, it was going to get done, whether they liked it or not.

They sighed, and I pointed out the door.

They dragged their stuff with them as they went, and as I walked past them, I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Do you really think this is the last time this'll happen?"

They exhaled noisily at me, and I flipped them off. They just grumbled, but they went along with insane plan once again.

Ha-ha, I always win. All the time.

As I followed Naruto down the stairs, I nearly swore freakishly loudly. If he takes her to a ramen restaurant, there is going to be hell to pay…

But he didn't. He pulled her along, his arm around her shoulder, determination in his eyes.

"Hey… Hinata-chan?"

"Uhnn… ya?"

"Why do you always stutter around me? I mean, I've heard you talk normally before, to Neji and Sakura and stuff…"

She sighed.

"N-Naruto... it's j-just that… I'm k-kinda… s-shy…"

He looked at her like she'd gone insane, and I started to giggle.

I have no idea why; I just had an insane urge to giggle. All girls have had these, so don't even deny, stupid camera man! Now shush, I can't _hear them!!_

Ohhhh…. Cute doctor passing by… no! Must… concentrate… Damnit, _so_ not working.

"Keep filming, and if you can, get closer. I have a cute doctor to hit on."

He just stared at me.

I sent him a brilliant smile, and skipped after the doctor.

I could still hear Naruto jabbering to Hinata, and I was pretty sure she was still blushing. I would have time to watch the rest of the film tomorrow. Right now, there was a cute doctor over there!

--

I sighed the next morning. I had a hangover, and the stupid camera guys had given me my tape.

I was, of course, happy with this. I only had one problem with it.

NOTHING ELSE HAD HAPPENED!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS UP WITH THAT?!

So I was more then a little peeved. Naruto had walked her home (this is good. Progress, in some way, shape, or form,) and then said good night.

HE DIDN'T EVEN KISS HER!! Owww… hangover headache… too much light…

Ah, the hell with it.

--

We're back at the studio. Ahhh, my favorite part of the movie; Sakura and Sasuke are here to play the very small (but crucial) part of the movie where Sasuke comes back and blah, blah, blah.

"Action!"

"Teme. Stop being an ass."

"Dobe, don't call me that."

"You wish. Sakura's gonna kill you when she realizes you're back."

"Hn."

Sakura and Hinata walk into the scene.

All is silent before…

"Sakura."

"Sasuke."

The four of them stared at each other for another minute. Sakura took one step (just one step mind you. I had to be very specific about this, because I knew that if she took more then one step, the two of them would end up making out on the floor. Idiots) forward, and then stared at him for another second.

And then she slammed her fist into his jaw, hard enough to send him reeling.

She stomped off, as per my orders.

And yet, no matter how many times she does this scene, I think she still gets extreme enjoyment out of it. And I mean it. Usually Naruto jumps in and ruins the whole scene, but this time, he didn't.

"CUT!" I screamed out, tears of happiness pouring down my cheeks. Thank you God! THANK YOU!!

Every person in the room was looking at me like I'd gone mad. I gave them the one-finger salute, and then turned around to face my actors.

"Right, that scene was perfect. Sasuke, get some ice on that, I expect Sakura hit you hard enough. Oh, and I've just decided to add a scene."

The looked at me, fear in their eyes. Oh dear, I've gone and scared them…

"But, since I'm a nice person, I'm not going to make it happen, not until tomorrow."

They all breathed a sigh of relief. I was more then slightly insulted at the insinuation underlying that sigh. I glared at them, affronted.

"You all sigh like that again, and I might make you do it now."

The all stared at me, horror evident in their eyes.

And then they all dashed for the door.

I cackled evilly at them. I love the fact that I can strike fear into the cute little shinobi's hearts. It's so cute!

I think they heard me. And my camera crew had screamed in terror and run as well.

Hmm, maybe I should work on this 'scaring everyone around me off.' But I was angry. It was raining wonderfully outside, the perfect thing for romance. I flipped my cell open, speed-dialed my head camera-man, and screamed into the phone.

Mother always _did_ say I sound like a banshee when I'm angry…

They stumble back into the room, and I point out the door.

I'm going to get Naruto to kiss Hinata, even if it's the last thing I do! (It won't be; I still have to get _several_ other people together. Not my evil little giggle. Oh, I love being an evil director; it really does make life worth living.)

I wander outside, umbrella discarded. The crew needs them more then I do, anyways. I like standing in the rain, hair wet and sticking to my neck, clothes soaking. Having fun is important. (Match making is fun, too; I just like the rain more.

There is so much not to see in the rain.

I love it (because it's beautiful) but I hate it, too (it makes me philosophical, and I dislike being philosophical. It ruins my image of matchmaking director. Damn).

Ahah! There they are! Knowing both Sakura and Sasuke, I'm pretty sure they've gone off to make out, and Naruto's walking Hinata home.

Hinata stopped, and stared up at Naruto, for a mere moment. It's the most lovely thing.

I turned and glared at my crew. Good, they were already filming it. They learn slowly, but they do learn.

I turn back towards Naruto and Hinata and sigh in pure happiness at the picture they made. How he hasn't done her before is beyond me.

She stood up on her tiptoes, to whisper something in his ear. I knew the crew would get it, but I couldn't hel wandering closer to hear what she said.

"Naruto-kun, I have a question."

Thank god she got over that annoying habit of stuttering. I'm surprised and pleased that she hasn't fainted yet, though. Walking

"Hinata-chan? Is something wrong?"

"Do you… like someone?"

"Like?"

He seems confused. It's totally adorable. Why hasn't she kissed him yet? I'M GOING INSANE HERE!!

"Yes. Like. As in, more then just friend like."

"I think so."

I can hear the unasked question hanging in the air, thick, curdling, like sour milk. Wow, my emo-ness is getting the better of me. Damnit…

"Ask, Hinata."

"Huh?"

"Ask your question."

YAY!! Naruto isn't always dumb!!

"Who? Who do you like?"

"She's pretty. Very, very pretty. And shy. And sweet. And adorable. And honest. And I don't know what I would do without her, frankly."

Hinata looked down, and her lips trembled. It was the most heart-breaking expression I have ever seen on anyone's face, ever, and I was so happy (tears of happiness coursed down my cheeks) to see Naruto gently wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Hinata-chan. Hinata-chan, Hinata-chan, Hinata-chan. I like _you_. I like you so much, that I don't know what to do about it."

She looked up at him.

"So kiss me."

And then he leaned down, and pressed his lips against hers, the rain falling all around them. (Well, this was a good thing. The umbrella had been discarded a while ago. Mwuhaha.)

I almost went "SQUEEEEEE!!" and ruined the whole thing. If my camera guys didn't get this kiss there would be _hell to pay_. I was going to use it; I was going to use it, for sure.

They just kept kissing, and I decided to give them some privacy. I motioned to cut the cameras, and then, just as silently, pointed in a different direction.

They looked at me like I'd gone mad. Well, they better get used to it. I am the only person who is allowed to break up lovely moments like this, and I worked TOO DAMN HARD to get this moment going for them to ruin it.

I sent them all a fierce glare and they went scurrying. Ha-ha.

I walked off, left them alone with the singing of the rain, to find other amusements.


End file.
